


Don't Doubt It

by lia (londonfog_faery)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Marauders - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Remus Lupin, Fear, Gay Sirius Black, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Irrational Fears, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), New Au, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Top Remus Lupin, Trauma, i can't tag, i cant tag, trauma becomes fears, wolfstar, yeeh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25062715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/londonfog_faery/pseuds/lia
Summary: A Soulmate AU where ones soulmates most traumatic events become the others irrational fears.eg) person A was stung by a wasp and theyre allergic, person B is suddenly incredibly scared of them.(irrational fears you don't inherit from your soulmate don't exist)Remus & Sirius get together fic :)
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 167





	Don't Doubt It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my tumblr followers! :)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+tumblr+followers%21+%3A%29).



> hi! If your from my tumblr I totally owe you this, please enjoy  
> if you're not from my tumblr, i'm nextdoorgryffindor, feel free to leave requests!  
> trigger warnings in tags!

"Stop laughing, they're absolutely _terrifying_ " James whined. "I regret telling you" he moaned into his pillow.

"Your fault for going first" Remus shot at him with a small snicker. 

"Sirius?" James said propping himself up on his elbows. 

"As _if_ I'm scared of anything" He smirked running a hand through his hair, the fifteen year old sure had an ego. 

"As _if_ anyone believes that". Remus mumbled under a laugh, which triggered both James, and Peter into a fit of giggles. 

"Okay, I mean, my parents, but I sure as fuck hope my soulmate doesn't know them" Sirius added. "Pete?" 

Peter glanced up, "Rogue waves" He replied with a head nod. 

The boys glanced at eachother supressing laughter. "Rogue waves?" James said raising his eyebrows. "We don't even live near the ocean-" 

"It's more likely than being killed by a clown-" Peter shot back.

"I doubt that-" James whined. "I bet Remus has something super normal, what is it Rem, spiders?"

Remus shrugged. "I have like eight, I earnestly feel bad for whoever it is" He was tempted to add 'for multiple reasons' but settled on not getting a lecture at two in the morning. "But like storms" he added glancing out the window. 

"Fucking called it" James mumbled shaking his head. "Who the fuck is scared of _clowns,_ I hope Lily is, maybe I should ask her" he added gazing out the window. 

The boys rolled their eyes. "Go pine somewhere else" Sirius snickered reaching for the fire whisky. 

"No- nope, no you've had enough" James said snatching the bottle. 

Sirius' jaw dramatically dropped as he lunged off his bed onto James'. As the boys fought Remus drew his curtains back, it'd been a long night, and it was only his first day out of the hospital wing since the last moon. 

He hadn't even _thought_ about his soulmate in ages. Sometimes he felt as if he didn't have one anymore, I mean, he wasn't quite human anymore was he. But, alas if he didn't have a soulmate, would he still have their fears? Storms wasn't that hard to deal with, and in reality the failure thing wasn't awful. I mean yeah it sucked being extra stressed before everything and anything, and maybe it added to his pre-existing anxiety, but it was still easier to cope with than his last 'irrational' fear. They call them 'irrational' which Remus found kind of stupid. I mean, it's rational in your head right? Physical contact. Not necissarily from anyone, for example, Sirius could probably kiss him- okay, wait, no, nope, no, enough of that thought, let's move on yeah. Physical contact, all Remus could think about was Sirius now, which was _not_ good. At all. Back on track, physical contact was only really a fear when it came from strangers, or well, anyone Remus didn't trust, maybe trust should be on that list. That was probably more of a Remus issue. You know what, maybe physical contact was too. I mean how could he let someone touch him, he would turn around and hurt them, he was a monster, he was capable of killing. How could he have a soulmate? That wasn't fair, he couldn't be loved. What would even happen when his soulmate found out? How would that work?

_"oh wow! We're soulmates!"_

_"aha yeaaah, also, i'm like, a werewolf who will probably tear you apart every month :)"_

Why was he thinking about that now, what was he doing, he should be asleep. He could hear Sirius laughing. And somehow whatever feeling that overwhelmed him translated into Remus yelling at them to 'go the fuck to sleep' 

Sirius had one irrational fear, it was earthquakes, and he _obviously_ couldn't bring that up in the dorm, because Remus had lost one of his grandparents in an earthquake, and that would just be an awkward revelation. Not that it would be a revelation. **A lot** of people had traumatic events in earthquakes, right? Probably. Anyways it's not like Sirius could remember anything bad ever happening from a storm. It's not like he was struck by lightning or something. **what if he was!** What if he was and he didn't remember because that's what happens right?

"guys, if you get struck by lightning, do you remember it happening?"

"Sirius, it's five in the morning, we have school in three and a half hours, I _swear to god_ " was the only mumbled reply he got. 

Well fuck, thanks for the answers ~~soulmate~~ Remus. 

Sirius could practically hear his heart beating, which was stupid because he most definitely was never struck by lightning, he was barely let outside as a kid. He was just being stupid and gay. Oh, that was another thing, Remus wasn't gay. Why was he even thinking about this shit?

And in a blink of an I it was June, already shortly after the incident. Remus and Sirius weren't talking, and when they were it was most definitely not by choice. (I mean Sirius tried to apologize but it always somehow ended in yelling)

For example, Friday the sixteenth, five fourteen pm. 

"and, well you, you're so fucking insensitive Sirius" Remus exhaled loudly. Peter was watching the quidditch match, and James was playing (obviously).

  
"I'm insensitive? Your'e the one who won't talk to me" Sirius shot back masking the hurt with anger.

"Yeah, you revealed the only thing I've ever asked you to keep secret, you nearly made me _murder_ somebody, and you could've killed a student. An actual human being. You could've _killed_ someone. _fuck._ You just never fucking _think_. Have you ever stopped to think about what you say before it comes pouring out of your mouth? I don't even _need_ an answer, because you have **never** thought about the consequences of anything you do. The world doesn't revolve around you, you can't just _do_ shit. You're impulsive, self-centred, and you're- you're really fucking insensitive" Remus felt a lump in the back of his throat forming.

  
Sirius didn't say anything he just stood wide eyed staring at Remus.

  
"you _need_ to take responsibility for once, merlin fucking christ-" Remus mumbled. He had the habit of cursing in a mix of wizarding swears and muggle swears thanks to his parents.  
"Sirius talk" He snapped. It was one of his pet peeves when people wouldn't fight back, and this was really out of character for Sirius. He just stood there observing, and it was infuriating.  
"Use words-" Remus snarled bringing his hands up to his temples out of exasperation. Time froze as Sirius flinched back at the motion. He moved so quickly, incredible reflexes. No wonder James wanted him to play Seeker or Beater. Sirius' back was pressed against the wall and he made eye contact with the taller brunette. Sirius exhaled a shaky breath letting what just happened set in. Something in Remus snapped as well. He _was_ a monster, he was just as bad as the wolf, he was the insensitive one, fuck. Sirius stared at him and Remus shakily said his name in a short breath.   
Sirius darted out of the room.

It left Remus frozen for a moment, part of him wanted to follow Sirius, and the other part of him realized that the chances of Sirius being his soulmate just went up a little. Which was kind of a horrible thing to think about in the moment, but Remus would beat himself up about that later, for now he had to focus on everything else. What had just happened? That was confusing.

By the last day of school Remus and Sirius were talking again, there was still a lot of tension. By that Im implying multiple kinds of tension. Of course the tension from the incident, the fight, and then of course romantic tension, and plausibly even sexual tension.

"Lilys my soulmate!" James whispered excitedly once the girls left the common room "I heard her talking about clowns, and I mean not many people have been traumatized by a-"  
"Have you told her!?" Peter cut him off.   
James shook his head "I mean, I shouldn't right? She hates me, I should, wait? You know, charm her first" He added with a small wink.   
That received a couple of eye rolls. "well, I guess so? But, wouldn't you guys want to tell someone if you even had the mildest suspision that they were your soulmate?" Peter asked.   
Sirius looked at the ground. "No" he said very quickly. That was another stupid thought, once again Sirius Orion Black found himself reminding himself that he was not in fact struck by lightning.   
"Moony?" Peter turned his head.   
" _definitely not_ " Remus said quickly looking away.   
"Let's not be late for the train eh?" James said grabbing his trunk ignoring the interesting dynamic surrounding him.   
Sirius reluctantly reached for his. It wasn't like school was much fun at the moment, but still better than home. 

By sixth year things seemed to be patched up again. 

The marauders found themselves at the breakfast table being showered in letters. (not necissarily for them, just in general)   
Sirius glanced up at the ceiling and rolled his eyes seeing the rain.   
"My favourite" he whined resting his face on his hands. "Couldn't be snow couldn't be sun" He added dramatically.   
"What did the rain ever do to you?" Peter laughed glancing up at him.   
"Mum used to make us stand in it if we ever did something- _OH_ " Sirius mumbled furrowing his brow. "Ignore me- nothing, I love the rain, thats a lie, just- yeah- um can someone pass me the prophet?" He murmured trying to divert the conversation.   
  


James handed him the paper taking another bite of toast glancing briefly at the redhead across the table. He still hadn't told Lily yet, he didn't want to be like, "Sup, you hate me, but you actually don't so um, lets date" he was playing the long game (which Sirius and Remus knew _a lot_ about)

"Oh ew, I hate that guy" Sirius mumbled after quickly pushing the paper away. The guy used to be at pure-blood events, which was ironic because (I mean Sirius didn't know it) he was a literal werewolf. It was Sirius' first interaction with an irrational fear. Anytime he saw him getting close he would go sprint away and hide (which was probably for the best).   
"Who?" Remus asked glancing over his shoulder. Sirius could feel his breath on his neck causing it to tingle.   
"um- uh, this- guy" He muttered obviously flustered. He pointed at a hairy fanged man in the prophet. F  
Remus shut his eyes and turned his head away after seeing the picture. "Mm, fenrir greyback, I hate him too" He added.   
"...oh, _oh, OH-_ merlin, fuck" Sirius mumbled into his cup of tea. "earthquakes?" He said briefly forgetting the answer to that.   
"Um, yeah hate those too?" Remus replied reaching for a spoon. Bless his oblivious little heart.   
  


It wasn't until they were alone later that night that Sirius even tried to say anything. Okay that's a lie, he tried earlier in the day, but somehow, 'tell Remus your his soulmate, and then shove him against the wall and kiss him' became 'shove him against the wall' which somehow translated into 'shove him down the stairs' and Sirius ended up somehow knocking the six foot something werewolf down the stairs. 

"Um, Rem" Siruis started already hating the way he was saying it. He should've done something more dramatic, although that wouldn't have worked, he never could be as flamboyant and confident with Remus. He just got so, _ohhhh_ flustered, yeah that adds up. 

"Yeah?" Remus glanced up from his paper. 

"Um, you- I think, your my soulmate" He stammered out quickly. 

Remus stared at him for at least twenty very uncomfortable seconds before putting his quill down with a nod. "Yeah, okay" 

Sirius huffed sliding farther against the floor letting his head rest on the couch cushions above him, and his feet under the coffee table. "So I give you this beautiful revelation and you say 'yeah okay'" He teased. 

"Yeah, okay" Remus said trying to keep a straight face ~~which is hard when your not straight.~~

"Fuck off" Sirius laughed. "So um what are the chances" Sirius said glancing around awkwardly. 

"... high?" Remus replied with a small shrug. It made sense, as Remus had found out a while ago, most of Sirius' abuse was around being a disappointment, which became fear of failure, and the hitting became touch, and the standing in the rain from breakfast became storms. 

"So, yes?" Sirius asked. 

"Yes" Remus replied. "Can I kiss you or is that-" 

"Just kiss him already-" 

Sirius whipped his head around. "Prongs I'm going to push you out that fucking window" 

"You've ruined the moment, good one James" Remus said with a feigned-glare. 

"moment won't be ruined if we go somewhere else" Sirius said in a low voice raising one eyebrow. 

Remus smirked at him grabbing his wrist and of course the map (gotta keep the other two as far away as possible) 

**Author's Note:**

> My writing style didn't totally fit this plot, so thanks for reading, I hope it was what you guys wanted, if it wasn't, feel free to tag people who should do this AU.  
> I have a ton of soulmate aus that im 82% sure I created, (aka ive never seen anywhere else) so if you guys want to see more in either fic or hc form hmu. ;)  
> thanks for reading!


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